I Love You, Man, and Why It’s Important We Support One Another

One thing is for certain: having the support of your fellow man matters. And I mean that literally—having another man who will listen to you, stand with you, and support you in love and respect. I can’t overstate how important that is.

When I think about some of the hardest times in my life, especially when my father wasn’t there, it was men of God who stepped in. They didn’t do everything right, but they made sure I was moving in a direction shaped by integrity and honesty. Other groups I was part of didn’t offer that kind of guidance. I found myself repeating patterns of thought and behavior I didn’t truly want—because I wanted the support, even if it wasn’t the right kind. Over time, I learned this: choose the men around you wisely. Every man is not for your good—but not every man is out to destroy you either.

With this understanding, the formation of men’s support groups has become deeply important to me. Giving men the tools and structure to gather and speak openly with one another is priceless. This is one reason why I believe early Christians were urged not to forsake fellowship and to carry one another’s burdens. Not perfectly—but persistently. Life-altering things happen to men, and too often we don’t know who to talk to, or even who to think with. That shouldn’t be normal.

For a long time, I wanted to be the lone wolf. The man who made it on his own. The man who felt nothing. The man who moved through life with the strength of three Supermen. But that man was never me. I felt. I hurt. I still do. And many others do too. If we keep hurting alone, the weight becomes unbearable. For many of us, it already is. That’s why we need one another—daily.

Men being able to be themselves and speak honestly with one another, religious or non-religious, is something I want to help make normal. I believe love is still present across those differences. The kind of love I’m talking about—the love of God—says, “I know we’re different, but I recognize your struggle. Let me help you carry it.” Love is the perfect spotter in the gym. Love is the ultimate rebounder and passer on the court. Love wants us all standing, all breathing, all believing we are worthy to live and worthy of love.

Until next time,

Much peace and much love,

James