Why Struggling Privately Isn't Enough

 by James Love

Digital Drawing
James Love
© 2026 The Love Trollinger Initiative LLC. All rights reserved.

The Bible is full of stories that reveal the psychology and heart of humanity.

It shows Jacob loving Rachel but marrying Leah.
It shows Samson surrendering his strength for the company of a woman.
It shows Abraham lying to authorities in an attempt to protect himself and his wife.

When we read these stories, it’s easy to judge and say, “That’s not me.”
But the truth is, these stories are mirrors. They reveal our inner lives—and not always the parts we’re proud of.

Private struggle can preserve dignity. But by itself, it rarely produces transformation—ours or anyone else’s.

In our own lives, we carry stories of triumph, setback, and moments we’d rather forget. Yet we curate the version of ourselves we want others to see. I want people to see my business acumen, not my wounds. I want them to see a successful relationship, not the effort it takes to maintain it. After all, it’s none of their business… right?

I’m sure David thought his affair with another man’s wife was none of our business. Yet it’s preserved in Scripture for all to see. I’m sure Elijah wanted to keep his despair to himself, but we’re given access to it generations later.

So what’s the point?

There is value in your story—for the right person.

This isn’t a call to overshare or to make your pain public property. It’s an invitation to be intentional. Not every detail belongs everywhere. But silence, especially prolonged silence, can isolate us—and it can deprive others of the hope they need.

Not everyone struggles with addiction, grief, doubt, or fear. But many do, quietly. And your willingness to share—wisely and truthfully—could be the thing that helps someone else keep going. It may be painful to revisit. It may feel exposing. But when all is said and done, your story could be the exact encouragement someone else needs to survive their own.

Don’t withhold your story when it has the power to elevate another life.

And here’s the real question: who will tell it?

I read gossip columns more than I’d like to admit. And what I’ve noticed is this—if you don’t tell your story, someone else will tell it for you. And when they do, it won’t be complete. They won’t know about the nights you cried or the prayers you whispered when no one was watching. They weren’t there.

That part belongs to you.

Telling your story takes courage. People will talk. They may say, “That’s not all that happened.” Fine. Let them add their commentary. But at least the person who lived it—the one who understands what happened behind the scenes—is also speaking.

That person is you.

And your voice matters.

If you want help telling your story with clarity, care, and intention, you can reach me here.

• create a paired piece titled “When Silence Protects—and When It Harms”

Just say the word.